There’s a story in the dishes left in the sink. There’s a story in the Legos strewn across the floor. There’s a story in the Thomas train set scattered among everything else. There’s a story in the sprinkles, crumbs and cupcake wrappers on the kitchen table. There are lots of stories my dirty house says to anyone who will look past the mess and listen.
I sat down the other night and surveyed the absolute mess my house had become. I felt rather disheartened. I have to admit, housekeeping is not my strong suit. I think it’s because of how never ending the cleaning is. In one day, I swept my kitchen floor a minimum of seven times. SEVEN TIMES! I like to be able to check things off a list. When I clean a room, I like it to be done for the day. Check! All done! I did it and don’t need to worry about it again!
But with the introduction of children to my household, that perfect moment of complete clean has eluded me. I sat there, that night, feeling like I’d wasted my day because none of my work and effort in keeping my house clean showed one bit. I looked over to my husband, sighed, and said, “It would all stay so much cleaner if I just let them watch PBS Kids all day.”
He gently chuckled and then kindly said, “I like it better this way.”
It was the perfect answer. I looked at the mess and began to see what each component was telling me.
The dishes were telling me that I had spent my time making homemade food for dinner. And that we all got to sit and eat that food together. They were an example of service and love. And while they needed to be cleaned up, they were a testament of our desire to build a strong, loving, and healthy family.
The Legos were whispering to me of the hour or so spent building and creating that my children enjoyed while I got to rock and nurse the baby. They were telling me how creative and ingenious my children were. They spoke of creating new worlds from imaginations and respecting the baby’s need to have Mom hold her.
The Thomas train set was trying to explain about the happy laughter and time spent with Mommy building a way for Thomas to get from one side of the room to the other. And it told me of baby Godzilla whose favorite part of the building was pulling the pieces apart. They were examples of exploration and patience, creation and reliance.
The crumbs, cupcake wrappers, and sprinkles were singing of the laughter and silliness that filled the air during the impromptu cupcake decorating party we held to celebrate that homework was finished for the night. They were monuments to siblings becoming friends, and children doing something that made them feel grown up.
My house was teaching me something very important that night. It was reminding me that my children were growing so fast. Soon, I’ll miss stepping on Legos; the house says (well maybe not that – stepping on Legos is the most painful thing I can think of). This is my chance to let my children know they are more important than daily grind Mommy deals with. Sooner than I think, my children won’t be making these messes, and I’ll miss the messes. I’ll miss the spontaneous laughter and wanting to play with Mommy more than anything. (But I don’t think I’ll miss stepping on Legos.)
[metaslider id=1658]I’m going to listen to my house as it quietly says, “Quiet dishes, laundry go to sleep. Play with your children, because children don’t keep.”
Comments 29
Very beautiful! I think the same things about my mess. First I feel like a failure, but then I look around and realize that these went undone because I was busy being with my kids, present in their moments, and sharing in their ups and downs. That saying at the end is one of my favorites!
Author
Thanks so much for your very kind comments! I’m glad I’m not the only one whose house talks. 🙂 Thanks so much for coming by and commenting. I love hearing from you! 🙂
Now that our kids are older, our house tells different stories. Our stack of dishes says that we have been focusing our attention on our future with the new business, but at least managed not to get take out. The piles of tech stuff in the corners describe the projects we are working on as a family endeavor. The undone chores show that our busy teenager is focused on school and scouts/church responsibilities. The pile of clean laundry unfolded in a basket in the living room show that I am trying to keep up with the house but spending more time supporting my husband in our business. The pile of classroom supplies in the living room says that I have not given up on my own goals. I too am not the great homemaker, but I am trying to find balance. Thanks for giving me a reason to think about what our messy house actually means.
Author
Kristin, I love all the stories your house is telling. Thanks for sharing them with me too. Good luck in all of your endeavors. Thanks for coming to read and comment!
I can relate so much to this post. Our house certainly looked much more tidy before having children, but we felt an emptiness in our home. We longed to hear the laughter of children and to see the world through their eyes. While our home no longer looks so together, it feels complete.
Author
That is a fantastic way to describe a home. I love the idea of complete in a family! Thanks so much for adding to the discussion.
You speak for a lot of us moms. It is so hard keeping the house clean with kids. Someone recently told me I shouldn’t be so worried about chores because there are more important things than always cleaning the house. They were right. A ,easy house means happy kids.
Author
I’m glad what I wrote resonated with you. I hope your children are very happy, and your house is slightly messy — like mine. 🙂 Thanks for the comments and for coming by.
Stopping by from the Mommy Moments link up. This is a great way to look at a messy house! Our little guy is almost one and our house gets messy, I can’t even imagine what it is going to be like when he is older. This is a nice reminder to stop and enjoy the moments we have with our children. Thank you for sharing.
~Sierra & Faith
@Winks and Eyerolls
Author
I appreciate you kind comments. Thanks for the link up party. I hope you enjoy your little one and all his messes (at least some of the time.) Thanks for coming by and commenting.
Before I had a child, the house seemed to be missing something. When there was a baby in the house, all the gear to take care of a little person cluttered the house, diapers stacked up, clothes everywhere. But I remember just looking around and thinking, “This is what was missing.” I love your outlook!
Author
Thank you for your great comments. I’m glad your house found what it was “missing”. Thanks for coming by and commenting!
Such a beautiful reminder to us all! I am glad I found this post at Motivational Monday. My children are in high school/ college now - but oh - and do I ever remember the pain of stepping on a lego. Your priorities are right - spend every minute you can on your children because they will be grown-up before you know it.
Author
I’m glad to know you survived a Lego moment. 🙂 Thanks for your kind comments and for coming by to visit!
Very sweet! I like a clean house, too and sometimes it’s hard to be mindful of these things. Thanks for the encouragement! #mommymoments
Author
Thanks for the kind comments and for coming by to visit. Good luck with your housework, and with your Mommy work. 🙂
It is a beautiful mess! I too let the mess get to me some days, but this is great perspective to keep in mind. The little ones will grow so fast-and are already. Thank you for this great mindset adjustment!
Author
Thanks so much for the affirming comments. I appreciate you coming by and commenting. 🙂
You have 5 beautiful children, and they look so happy. I have four, they are older than yours and I’ve sat in the middle of a messy house many times. Now that they’re older it doesn’t get as messy and there are times I wish I could go back to those messy days just to enjoy them a moment longer.
Blessings,
Liz
Author
I’m sure I’ll feel the same way when I get there. I do try to listen to the mess more often than be overwhelmed by it. Thanks for your kind thoughts and for coming by.
I need to learn to embrace the mess a little bit more. Thanks for helping with that.
FYI - We’re featuring your awesome post at this week’s Motivation Monday party!
Author
Holy Moly! I just saw your comment, and I’m so honored! Thank you so much! Wow! I’m speechless. 🙂
Thank you for this post, truly. The timing is perfect too… I cried a little bit this morning looking at the rooms trashed up by the kids. I thought how much I failed teaching my kids to clean up after themselves. Of how I can’t invite a friend over tomorrow, because I don’t have spare hours to clean it all up today. Now I see a dreaming, imaginative boy, who’d write stories and paint pictures resulting in paper sometimes missing a waste basket. Of books being loved so much they got to go to bed and sometimes under it. Of a girl who wants to be so present in the moment that she changes her clothes faster than I can say “now hang that dress up nicely”. Pencils and markers scattered everywhere tell our artistic endeavors do happen oftener than I think…And I’m taking a thermos of tea and some cookies to the park tomorrow to see my friend there. We’ll deal with the mess eventually.
Author
What a lovely message your house is sharing. Thank you for sharing it with me.
I’ve been trying to read this post all day, but “for some reason” (haha!) I keep getting pulled away from it. I love this! I get aggravated with the mess that is my house, but you are definitely right about it being better than staring at the TV all day long. And that it won’t last forever, it just feels like it will.
Author
I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Chaos is something I’m learning to be at peace with, while balancing the need for order. Thanks for coming by and commenting. 🙂
I just had to share this. I broke down and cried the other day that my husband didnt tell me his parents were coming over and everything was a wreck when they showed up. I grew up living in a trailer and definitely a clean house etc. His parent’s have money and I feel very intimidated and I want everything to always be perfect to show I am a great wife and mother to there son and grandson. Well i just hot very upset when they left knowing there will be talk or judgement passed. I apologized for my messy house and didnt speak to my husband and was very upset with him. Thank you for this article I shared this and I hope his parents read it. Im sure im freaking out way more than I should be. This article is perfect. Thank you…
Author
It’s always hard to be caught unprepared for guests, especially when the opinion of those guests matters so much. I’m sure they know how much you love their son and grandson. I have a sign in my home that reads “If you’ve come to see us, please come in. If you’ve come to see the house, you need to make an appointment.” 🙂 I glad you enjoyed the article and I hope all goes well for you and your family. 🙂